I can tell I'm changing...

I can tell I'm changing...in a good way.:)  I just can't shake the thought of those little kids in the orphanage where Pastor J and his wife give so much of themselves and have so much joy while not knowing how they will feed everyone that day.  The tension I am wrestling with is a good one.  I have so much.  Others have so little.  I really don't know what it means to go without.  I haven't ever really "suffered" in need.  I'm reminded of those kids when I'm buying groceries, when I'm buying clothes, when I'm debating what to wear and wishing for more, when the girls are begging for me to buy them a toy at the store, when I start to feel a little bit hungry, and when I splurge, indulge, or pamper myself in any way.  I see clearly here what I would not have said in the States...we are wealthy.  Not just in our blessings and provisions...but financially.  The way of life for many in the townships seem unsurvivable to me...no refrigerator, no bed, one room shack housing way more people than there is room for, the smell of outhouse, hundreds of flies swarming, no bathroom, no privacy, no food,  no job, no idea what the next day will bring.  I have so much to learn from them.  So much room to grow.  So much to pray about.  So much I want to "do" to help.
I still like to shop, be comfortable, know that will be able to eat when I get hungry, and buy my kids toys.  BUT, I can tell I'm changing...